Thursday, February 27, 2014
A Strong, Independent Woman
"I am a strong, independent woman, and I don't need a man to complete me." We've all heard it, many of us have said it--and to some degree, it's a true statement.
We are all amazing women who have gifts and talents that benefit the world. We are our own people. We have a voice, and things to say. And those things truly do matter. We deserve equality, and fair treatment, because we are capable human beings. It is legitimately unfair for women to be paid less than a man doing the same job. It is seriously degrading to be told to "go the kitchen where we belong."
While all of this is true, women are astonishing people and deserve to be treated as such, we need to think about what we are saying when we declare that "we don't need a man to complete us." We tend to give off the message that men are inconsequential to us--they could come or leave, and it wouldn't matter. We don't need them for anything. Not to get things done, not to be happy.
But that isn't strictly true, now is it? Our Father in Heaven did not design the man to be without the woman, nor the woman without the man. (1 Corinthians 11:11) It is a part of his divine plan that both parties would need to work together, to be sealed in eternal marriage, in order to be supremely happy. We often forget that, as capable as we are, we do in fact need men. Men are supposed to be an important part of our lives. The man and the woman both play an integral part in Heavenly Father's plan--two very different roles, laid out nicely in "The Family: A Proclamation to the World".
I think the main problem here is that we (myself included) often let our feminism get in the way of true happiness. We allow it to cloud our vision. We tell ourselves all the time that "A man won't make me happy" or "I'm weak if I allow myself to fall for a guy" or things of a similar nature. But does it really make us weak? Is it really feeble of a woman to find joy in the companionship of someone who truly loves and respects her? Do we really become frail when we find it in ourselves to give someone love, despite their faults? I say NO! Of course not. In fact, it's downright ridiculous to think that loving someone is easy. Love takes work, just like anything else that is worthwhile. Being able to love a man is a sign of strength.
Maybe we find ourselves saying that we don't need men because we don't want to be ridiculed for caring so much, or we don't want to feel the pain of a breakup, or something else of the like. This stems from insecurity, and that is anything but feministic. Maybe it hurts to be rejected and made fun of, but you are fierce. The divine light of Christ burns within you, and will help you to get past any hardship.
Although we can be very, very happy on our own (Since, like I said, we as women are awesome) it's okay to admit that a man can bring us a kind of joy we can't find individually. With a man we are able to raise families in righteousness, and live again with our Father in Heaven in the highest degree of Celestial Glory. That sounds pretty good to me! Becoming an exalted being, having the ability to create and govern worlds? That sounds exactly like something a powerful woman would do--and we can't do it without a man standing by our sides, supporting us as much as we support them.
Another problem that arises when we assert our independence as women in such an abrasive manner is that we take away a man's chance to be a gentlemen. Much of the shift away from chivalry comes from us women. If we don't allow our men to open doors for us, to occassionally buy us dinner instead of going dutch, to treat us like princesses, what will happen? They'll stop trying. If we as women are going to be treated with the respect and dignity we deserve, we have to give men the opportunity to do so. Just because your date opens your car door doesn't mean that he thinks you're not able to open it yourself, he's just trying to exhibit the chivalrous behavior that women are always whining "doesn't exist anymore."
I am not in any way saying that we should give up our fight for equality and fair treatment. Let us not let our feministic desires get in the way of our main goal--to be happy living in the presence of our Heavenly Father, for time and all eternity.
So women everywhere! I beg you, go out, live your life, be AMAZING. But don't forget that it's okay for a man to complete you.